Our Wedding Was So Gay

Our Wedding Was So Gay

< Return to The Proud Path Blog    Our wedding was intentionally super gay. And not just a little gay, or simply gay because two men were getting wed, but rather an attempt at planning every facet of our big day with the goal of honoring queer stories, past leaders, and current rockstars affecting change in the LGBTQ+ community. We set out to have the gayest wedding ever, and to be honest, we nailed it. (Gallery at the bottom)    Let’s get the cute stuff out of the way: Nick and I met on OkCupid, fell in love over board games and Harry Potter trivia, got engaged at a fake Passover party, and probably still speak at least a few times a day in other languages at each other (not necessarily well though). We talk about social justice; we talk about obscure vocal phenomenons (he’s a linguist, I’m a singer); we are proof a Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor can make it work; we will always fight for equity and inclusion. So when we sat down to plan the wedding, we knew it needed to be fun, and heartfelt, and inclusive, and queer as hell. “…wedding traditions are inherently related to heteronormative culture…“     Nick was the first person to remind me that wedding traditions are inherently related to heteronormative culture: dad walks daughter down the aisle to “give her away,” little flower girls and boy ring bearers, groomsmen and bridesmaids. As we looked harder at the structure weddings have, we attempted to pull out anything that wasn’t really something we resonated with. Ultimately that boiled down to the structure:...
And Your Bride-to-Be?

And Your Bride-to-Be?

< Return to The Proud Path Blog    I’m getting married this year! In fact it’s like 8 weeks away, and I am feeling all the feelings about it. Anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows that there are so many people to call and talk to and plan to orchestrate the whole thing. In my relationship, I’m that person, and I love it. It has been fun to pick venues, build our wedding website, and taste test cake! My fiancé and I aren’t particularly tied to any of the major traditional aspects of a wedding, which has made it fun to figure out how we want our wedding to be outside of the expectation. However, there are certain things that must be done, like getting tuxedos or reserving hotel rooms. These mundane tasks have taken an interesting turn for me as the planner. Every call I make and email I receive is drenched in good old heteronormativity. For those of you who see that word and think, “here we go again, another new crazy word for me to worry about,” I’ll try to explain it quickly.    In short, heteronormativity is when, as a default, you assume every person you’re speaking to is straight, and that accordingly, everything they do is done like a straight person would do it. A super simple, but very common example is asking your son if he likes any girls at school. It’s a really common, and very cute question. And yet, if that child is LGBTQ+, he can’t really answer it. And if he does answer it honestly by saying “no,...
I Come Out Every Day

I Come Out Every Day

< Return to The Proud Path Blog I come out every single day.     The nature of being a queer person is very interesting. We don’t typically have two parents who are also LGBTQ+; we don’t typically know that we are a part of our minority group until middle childhood; no one can tell us that we are a part of the queer community, we have to come to that conclusion ourselves; in order to get support, we have to out ourselves and hope for the best. Now do that every day…     I can remember growing up in the 90’s and hearing about the gay community. I was old enough to watch Will and Grace and remember loving it, but not exactly sure why. I remember the episode of Seinfeld where the male leads kept saying that they weren’t gay but that “there’s nothing wrong with it!” I remember hearing about AIDS, but not really understanding what it was. I also remember much of the rhetoric that came out of the television and reverberated in my family’s conversations: “I don’t have anything wrong with people being gay, I just don’t think they should be shoving it down our throats!” “You don’t have to tell everyone about your sex life all the time!” “It’s inappropriate to talk about these things in schools. I’m afraid that they’re trying to recruit kids into their community!” “I’m afraid that they’re trying to recruit kids into their community!”     Fun stuff right? While things have progressed (in certain communities), there is one constant that remains true: We are straight until...
Why Is June LGBTQ+ Pride Month?

Why Is June LGBTQ+ Pride Month?

< Return to The Proud Path Blog How did the LGBTQ+ community settle on June for Pride Month? It might seem like it’s entirely random, but there is a good reason for LGBTQ+ pride month to be in June. The fight for LGBTQ+ rights has been going on for a very long time, and part of that history is the reason. Do you know the all-important reason? If we travel back in time 50 or so years, we would find a very different time for the LGBTQ+ community. Being gay was still considered a mental illness in the psychological community. It was against the law for two men to have sex (yes, even in the privacy of their own home). And owning an establishment that served the gay population like a bar or a club, was not very safe. In fact, many gay men were arrested for lewdness or indecency if they were claimed to be openly gay in public. The only thing worse than being a gay man at this time was being transgender, especially transgender people of color. Public spaces were few and far between, and this was in Manhattan. “Behind these doors they were living their truest life and finally free of how society wanted them to act and look.” Many gay bars had boarded up windows in order to protect patrons identities and to keep anyone from seeing what happened inside. Even with these laws and being forced to hide, there was a sense of freedom in dancing and drinking with friends and being able to be whoever you wanted to be. In these spaces...
The Proud Path helps with Parenting an LGBTQ+ Child

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