But, How Do You Know?

But, How Do You Know?

< Return to The Proud Path Blog “When did you choose?”       “What makes you so sure?” “Have you TRIED it yet?” “How did you decide?” Queer people have heard all of these questions, and their many variations. And each time, I am certain the person who is asking is curious; they want to understand, and for the most part, are genuine and well-intended. It is awesome that they want to know how it works, and I want to make sure I stress that asking a question like this doesn’t make you a bad person. That said, please stop asking these questions. Why, you may ask? Well… “…And slowly you realize that it’s one of those questions that can just stack upon itself.”     There are a few different angles to this conversation. The first, and simplest reason is this: Have you ever tried answering that question? Ya know that phase that children go through where you say, “We’re gonna eat dinner,” and you get back, “But why?” At first you try to answer, “Well it’s dinner time love.” And slowly you realize that it’s one of those questions that can just stack upon itself: “Well why is it dinner time?” “Because it’s evening” “Why is it evening?” “Because the sun is going down.” “Why is the sun going down.” “Because mommy made dinner and needs you to eat before she cries into a glass of shiraz again baby.”     How infuriating is it to try and rationalize everything, knowing that ultimately, your child is just gonna ask the same question again? Doesn’t it feel...
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